Media Manager Murdoch’s Operating manual for Spaceship Earth
The title: Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth comes to us from Bucky – AKA R. Buckminster Fuller – it’s the title of his most famous book – now with new added enzymes, you will no doubt enjoy Media Manager Murdoch’s Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth. As Bucky has remarked, “people sometimes wonder what it would be like to be an astronaut . . . and i say – you are an astronaut, right now. You are a crew member of Spaceship Earth“.
And here you are . . . on board Spaceship Earth, hurtling through the darkness of space at just over 100,000 kph. Today you are on the bridge of Spaceship Earth because it’s your regular Sunday shift at the controls of the great Blue Sphere. You cue up some of your favourite cruzy Sunday music and start into the day. The morning hot beverage hovers right in front of you in it’s own little anti-gravity beverage holder. First thing, you start checking the state of the life support systems, because that’s always the first and most important thing you do when starting a shift. It’s all written up in the Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth. But WHOA!!! What you see next sends you into an instant panic.
Imagine! You have arrived somewhat sleepy, maybe a bit hung over from the night before. There you are in your sneakers, jeans and T-shirt – kind of standard uniform for crew members these days – and as you’re looking at the control panel you realize something is very wrong with the life-support systems. All the indicators for all the different functions of the life-support system are going crazy on the monitors. The air supply has suddenly gone critical – with low oxygen levels and high Carbon Dioxide levels – they are right off the chart. Water supply for both oceans and fresh water are way above safe targets for system functioning. As you check through the real-time monitoring you see that the forests that feed the air supply and help regulate the water quality are disappearing at an alarming rate for use as industrial raw materials to make paper and land clearing for agriculture. What’s Going On?!!! Haven’t the crew been using the correct Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth? You decide to quickly check the other critical functions to see if the emergency is systemic.
What you see as you range through all the critical functions on Spaceship Earth’s life-support system reveals your worst nightmare. Every single life-support sub-system is showing critical danger levels. You look at the graphic visual display and the meters are all swinging wildly into the red.
Biodiversity is critically endangered – you can’t believe what you’re seeing. The rate of extinction of species has hit 3 species an hour! Mother of God – what has happened?! The Global temperatures have increased so much that the polar ice-caps are in imminent danger of melt-down. Population growth is now so fast that you see it will intersect with all the other factors with what can only be catastrophic consequences. You are really panicking now. The only thing you can think of doing is to check-in with another team member just to make sure you haven’t made a mistake with the life-support monitor program. Cause if this is accurate you figure it’s time to take swift action to save the Ship and her crew.
You reach for the global interplanetary communication system SKYPE. You’re calling Charlie Spiral – the day-shift leader for the life-support systems. Hi Charlie it’s Josh here. Charlie comes on sounding a little too relaxed. Wazzup my man? It sounds like he’s just waking up – at 11am in the morning! Well Charlie it seems like we have a problem with the life support systems. Everything is going WILDLY out of control.
You can now see Charlie on screen and he is in bed with no less than two beautiful looking young ladies. Just a minute says Charlie I’m just going to do a little line here. Shoooooooo . . . .Hmmmmm . . . .yeah that’s a whole lot better. Charlie starts sounding a lot more confident and in control.
Man . . .wazzup wit you? You come bustin in on ma Sunday bootie time like this. What’s the problem man!!?? Charlie sounds upset.
I start to feel silly as if maybe i shouldn’t be bothering him after all. Well Charlie I AM sorry but, but, but . . . I have just realized that the Spaceship Earth is in dire trouble Charlie. Dire Trouble. I repeat the words Dire Trouble for added impact as if maybe this will penetrate his drugged up mental state.
What Charlie says next is certainly confusing and perplexing
Did you download the systems upgrade from Media Manager Murdoch? asks Charlie.
Well um no . . .i was using the old default program Charlie. But it should still give accurate read-outs of the life-support systems. But Charlie is adamant about Media Manager Murdoch’s new upgrades. In fact he is becoming more upset and belligerent by the second.
Damn your ass man! If you would do the Murdoch Upgrade not only would you be on a higher planetary pay scale – man, how do you think I can afford to live large with all these beautiful Ho’s? – But now listen to me and listen GOOOOOOD. You would see that there is no cause for alarm Mo FO! All the old indicators for life support have been shown to be way out of style by Media Manager Murdoch. Get with the program kid or you gonna lose all yo level 4 access privileges man. Do the MuthaF#@&in upgrade ya dumbass!
So anyway . . . i took Charlie’s advice and downloaded Media Manager Murdoch’s Operating Manual. It plugs and plays perfectly with the monitoring system. Wow! It’s amazing. And now I feel better. Yep . . .I was really scared for a minute there. But now all the critical indicators are back in the safe range and we’re zipping through the inky blackness of space like happy little vegemites. Let’s rock & roll dudes. All I needed was the Murdoch Media Manager upgrade. Of course. Crisis averted. Now I understand that the imminent collapse of all the life support systems was just because I was using the OLD program. BOY, WOW we wont be making that mistake again. Will we flipper?
This post based on a novel idea by Professor Andrew Wilford with inspirations from Fiona O’Sullivan. See Also American Fasciscm and Fake Media this Blog. Also inspired by Robert Manne’s Article Sydney Morning Herald September 3 2011 - The Truth is Out There Also by Robert Manne SMH - A pressing Case for standing up to Rupert Murdoch’s bullying.
The title: Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth comes to us from Bucky – AKA R Buckminster Fuller – it’s the title of his most famous book – now with new added enzymes, you will no doubt enjoy Media Manager Murdoch’s Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth.